Waking up and it feels great!!!!!!

I have come to the realization that I have to be me!
That means I volunteer for "too many things"
I speak up when something isn't right
I use the CRAP that happened in my life as an inner energy to keep me working on making this damn world a better place!!!

I am committed to helping other women find their inner voices.... making their lives what they should be... helping others get past all the bs that gets in our way.

I am committed to sharing my story, my pain... to get someone else through the crap in their life right now!

        

I think I am just going to chill and relax today.
Have a cocktail (later of course) and spend the day in my art room.
See if I can talk my daughter into "playing" with me today.


I am a little inspired and even a little overwhelmed today....  took my son (the 15yr old) to First Friday for his birthday and of course my mind is still spinning.

Couldn't help but sign up to volunteer.... yeah yeah I know I know.... I don't think that part of me will ever change...

I also of course, want to set up a booth.... just narrowing down what I would paint for it... and what I would use.

I already have my mind spinning on how to get this group going a little.... my intention was for us to help each other and women in our lives learn how to do things for themselves... however, the participation level is not where I had hoped it would be at this point.

I want us to get together for coffee or drinks soon.... meet face to face (at least those of us in Vegas), with the hopes that we will band together a little better that way.

I truly do want this to be a "movement" in each of our lives... a movement to understanding, a movement to empowerment, a movement to strengthening others lives.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how to accomplish this... please share them....

I have an idea for future endeavors... but need participants if this is going to work.

There is a place that really needs decorating... it is a group home for mentally challenged children... I know about it because my 16 yr old son had to stay there a couple of times...
It is like an apartment.. the rooms are very bare (which part of is because the kids are violent at times) but we could do some true MAGIC with colors in these rooms...

What do you think?

anywho... off to find my inspiration

p.s. I am hoping that we are a tight enough group that we will begin sending waves of motion into each others lives....

        

Think back to the last time you were physically ill and mentally distraught because of something you saw or heard about.  For most it will be September 11 of 2001 and that is ok.... I suppose.

I am asking only because I am trying to figure out my own level of insanity or sanity, not sure which yet.

As much as I come across as a cold hearted bitch, I know I am not. 

I cannot sit through a history lesson without tearing up or outright crying. I cannot look at pictures of people suffering from hunger or mistreatment without becoming physically ill.

Empathy? It feels much deeper than that...

I always wondered why I never got into History, especially when it truly does interest me and tonight, as I was reading emails from a dear friend that just visited another country... sharing links to websites that tell of things that she learned about that countries history - I almost turn into a basket case... uncontrollable tears and emotions.


Emotions.... Confusion, Empathy, Deep deep sadness and yes, even anger.....

Why do people hurt each other like that? Why? What is the root cause?

Keep in mind... we are currently making history.... everyone always is....

Think of the children in Iraq... and our soldiers that are there also... the families that suffer on both sides....
Why? Politics? Religion? Mankind in general?

I totally understand that we need to stand up for ourselves and protect our families from people that intend to hurt us.... but how long does that take? It will soon be 7 years....

I know wars are not quick fixes... but why do we have to kill each other?

Because that is the only way some people listen?

Forgive me for ranting, I am in no way prepared to offer a solution... I am just tired of crying.. tired of feeling the suffering of people I do not even know.

There is no way anyone could ever convince me that we are not all connected in some way... even with nature.... the forest fires make me cry... not because someones multi million dollar home is burned up... homes and things are replacable... because humans die... animals die... insects die... plants die.... a part of our earth dies.... and then a part of our souls die...

I do not know where I am going with this and I swear I am not under the influence of any alcohol or medication lol....
I just want us each to really feel what is going on in our world.... or wait, maybe I don't.... it is not a very good feeling.... I wouldn't wish this on anyone... or should I wish it on everyone?

Would it make a difference if each felt it like I am right now... now when my shields that normally protect me and help me survive are down?

ok, so many of you think this has nothing to do with us in the U.S.... let's look at it on a smaller scale... that can cause as much if not more damage..

Look at the emotional pain we put on each other..... we think that sameness is equal to fairness.... we treat people that are not the same as us differently... either poorly if we see them as below us or we treat them as gods if we see them as above us...... instead of treating everyone with respect.

Look at what we do to our children... we inflict emotional wounds on them, the scars are there forever... even worse than the physical... those eventually go away.  I think back to my childhood... I would have much rather preferred to have been the one getting my ass kicked instead of having the hateful words in the back of my mind.

ok, I am stopping for now... I feel like I am on a soapbox and that was not my intent...

thanks for tolerating the rant...

I hope it helps us to heal and prevent further pain...

        

k, have my art room cleaned up... kind of excited about it and would much rather stay home tomorrow and play in here than go to work... but... bills have to be paid and that duty belongs to me so... back to the daily grind tomorrow.
I miss the days of watching the craft shows while the kids were at school and thinking that I could do anything with just a littel time.
Now, I actually have the skill, yet somehow never MAKE the time.. I need to work on that... right after I STOP BEING A WORKAHOLIC... I am getting a little better, still not totally healed, but a little better.
This city is tough, it is disheartening to know that everyone in this city is considered "replaceable"... kind of makes you feel like a commodity.. which I guess we kind of are.....guess that is the price we pay to make the money.... makes you wonder sometimes... Is it worth it? So far, my answer is yes... however, there are days that I wonder what I have gotten myself into...
How about you?
Don't leave me out on a limb here...share your thoughts!!!! This site is for all of us, not just me to blah blah blah on after a couple of drinks
I am however, really enjoying having a space at home that is ALL MINE.... I have my fairies, butterflies and witches hanging in here. I will be bringing my gnomes... hey, wait!!!!  I could finally paint those fairy doors!!!!  I bet I could finish one before bedtime?

        

ok, so maybe a "blog" isn't what I was really looking for on this site... well, having one is good... because those that know me know that at times I love to go on and on and on... HOWEVER, that was not my goal for THIS page.... but as in life... things change!
So, this will officially be "my" blog space, hopefully it will allow for comments and stuff so WE can use this as a message board until I figure out how to do a REAL message board

Hang in there, I will get it together.

Something else I am working on is setting up a members list and a newsletter tool....

so.... if anyone knows how to do this with the tools I have here... email me



feeling pretty good today... have spent a lot of time on the phone tonight with many of my favorite women in the world.... each with their own personal space in my heart!  And for the first time in a long time.... every one of the conversations was enjoyable


Carol, you know I love and miss you!

Denise, you know I love you and don't want to have to miss you!

Mom... we actually discussed and DISAGREED about religion tonight... and guess what, the world didn't fall apart and neither of us cried! I am sooo proud of the changes you are making in your life...! I love you dearly!


I will share more about the "issues" with my mom in other blogs... she is actually one of the reasons I am so damn determined to make this work... I don't ever want to witness a woman feeling totally helpless in her life when there is something I can do about it.

Anywho, I need to get back to my playing around with this "thing" so i can get it going the right way to you all!